I love/hate the way you lie

I hate the way you lie cuz I cling to every word. And you would think I'd stop by now cuz its shit I've already herd. Nothing new comes out of your mouth. You think your so much better than me. I'm sick and tired of your lack of creativity.I wish time could go back to when it was only you and me. Our business is in the public, yeah I put it there. I put your shit on blast, I think its only fair. I didn't want to go that route, but you pushed me there. You use to say "I love you". You use to give me kisses. here is that affection that I am always missing? I hate the way you lie, and I'm tired of always crying. Sometimes our fights get so bad I feel like I'm dieing. I think things would be better if I was dead. What do you think? A bullet to the head or a broken heart? The answer is both. Your words are like bullets and they peirce my ears. And my heart is broken cuz your to busy to fix it. Your gonna look into my tear stained eyes and tell me I'm crazy and that you love me. But I know the truth.....
I love the way you lie.

Peace, love and always hot coco and fries

starting over

after someone that has been in rehab for abuse of alcohol or drugs they must find news ways of surviving without them. well i am the same way(only no abuse of drugs or alcohol) i've been through some tough times...nd i'm finally taking control of my life. my first couple steps is to get a good job...and get my drivers license. to uh stay tuned to my life...it can onli get better.
till next time...
Peace, love and always hot coco and fries.

numb

i don't feel anything any more....so i don't kno if i'm alive or not. but i'll b just fine...so to my family i am rele sorry for any pain i have caused u...i rele am...anyways ya'll kno how to get in contact with me...so bye 4 now...i'll b around...i might be staying for a friend for a while till i get my feet on the ground. so its ok...don't worry about me at all...i'll b just fine...so i guess i'm saying bye for now.

its hard to b in a strange land...but i'll make through.

to my mom...i love you very much and i'm very sorry for any stress i've brought on u. you have done nothing but try and help me...nd i was anrgy at the past and i acted out from bull shit in the past...tell kayla and amari i love them very much...cuz i rele do! i love you all very very much!

till next time...
peace and love...and always hot coco and fries

"Why do you keep lashing out?"

the last words i herd b4 i yelled i love you and hung up the phone and threw it on the couch next to me. then i rly got to thinking y i such an angry person...30 mins later...OMFG! I FINALLY KNO Y I'M VERY ANGRY!!! but it dosen't matter....nothing matters anymore becuz i'm done...i'm gonna live on the street! i can't take life anymore...i hope i die! becuz no gives a damn about me anymore! I feel so sick of my life! i try to talking to my dad and he didn't even try to listening to me! instead he took MY loptop from me and pushed me! i'm so sick of my "family"...they 'love' me so much...but they never listen to me or wat i have to say. Everyone wants to kno why i'm sooo pissed off....so i'll tell u...one by one!

New Begining

Well its 2009...i never rele wanted to make a big deal out of it after all its just another year...but since i moved out from my mothers wing...2009 is going to be my independent year. By 2010, i want to have my own place, car, phone, i want to be a singer, and i also don't want to be pregnant. i kno that i can accomplish anything i set my mind to...so its bout time i start getting to it. i kno i can...and i will! so 2009 give me all u got and make it rough cuz nothing can break me more than my own mother not wanting me...so hit me with your best shot!!! I am SO ready! But i'll warn you i'm a savoy woman so do not FUCK with me...i repeat...do not FUCK with me...no time for your bull shit! one more thing...if u want to start shit with me DON'T!!!
till next time...
Peace, Love, and always hot coco and fries

On My Own....

Quite pissed...got into ugly fight with mother...but it was well needed...she always put me down and made me feel like shit. all that shit is in the past now and i'm ready to get on with my own life and do wat i gotta do for me...cuz now its just me myself and i. Fuck my mom and fuck my spoiled sister...they ain't shit to me anymore.
But all will be well soon just gotta make a change...can't sit on my ass forever and wait. i gotta get up and grab myself.
till next time...
Peace, Love, and always hot coco and fries

Library

i am at the library instead of the mall or being with a guy friend of mines becuz my mom treats me like a child and i have no freedom for an 18 year old. i don't kno y she does this but it irritates me. i mean yo...when i got here she told me if i was going to see any friends 0f mines from the past...and i told her i was not sure yet. and she said ok but if i as to change my mind she wud be happy to take me to c them. so here it is new years and my mom will not let me so and see my guy friend at the mall because he gave me a "love bite"...oh nd btw this is the same guy i talk about all of the time he is super amazing. but jus becuz she is miserable all of the time she wants me to b like her...nd it sux! but i have no way of doing stuff by my self so i'll jus get iver it and hope i can chill with him later tonite.

happy new year
till next time...
"Peace, Love, and always hot coco and fries